In my years in a 12 step program, I often heard the phrase,
“Fake it till you make it?” For me, it means even if you don’t feel ready, or
confident, or hopeful, you act as if you are by doing what you would do if you
were. Faking it by acting as if is
great practice until being ready or confident or hopeful becomes real.
I’m just beginning to realize how often fake it till you make it was a lifeline for me over the last 18
months. The day I was diagnosed with uterine cancer, a boulder of fear and
projection took up residence in my chest. Many mornings, that weight was the
first thing I felt when I opened my eyes. My over-active imagination and
sense of worry didn’t help. I’d cajole myself to close my eyes again
and instead of imaging the worst, envision what I’d feel like if I felt hopeful—as
if cancer had never happened. Then I’d try to act as if. Most days, faking led
to lessening the weight and genuinely feeling more hope.
One morning a couple of weeks ago, I realized it had been a few
days since I woke up feeling bogged down by that ever present stone.
Feeling almost-serenity
instead of anxious is new and fragile—I still don’t totally trust that it’s real.
One day at a time, I’m encouraged to keep faking it until I wake up one day to
find serenity has taken up residence and evicted worry and fear.
I hope you'll share in comments what thoughts and worries weigh you down, and what it would take to fake
it and act as if.
And, what experience can you share about how fake it till you make it and acting as if has worked for you?
I believe there's truth in what your say here, Carol...reminds me of the song, "I Whistle A Happy Tune". Sometimes when I feel worried or lack confidence, I sing this little tune to myself and it makes me feel better. Try it!
ReplyDeleteListen to it here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGS029Peq7k
Whenever I feel afraid
I hold my head erect
And whistle a happy tune
So no one will suspect I'm afraid
While shivering in my shoes
I strike a careless pose
And whistle a happy tune
And no one ever knows I'm afraid
The result of this deception
Is very strange to tell
For when I fool the people
I fear I fool myself as well
I whistle a happy tune
And every single time
The happiness in the tune
Convinces me that I'm not afraid
Make believe you're brave
And the trick will take you far
You may be as brave
As you make believe you are
You may be as brave
As you make believe you are
While shivering in my shoes
I strike a careless pose
And whistle a happy tune
And no one ever knows I'm afraid
The result of this deception
Is very strange to tell
For when I fool the people
I fear I fool myself as well
I whistle a happy tune
And every single time
The happiness in the tune
Convinces me that I'm not afraid
Make believe you're brave
And the trick will take you far
You may be as brave
As you make believe you are
Songwriters
Oscar Hammerstein Ii;Richard Rodgers
The King And I - I Whistle A Happy Tune Lyrics MetroLyrics
DeleteNancy, thanks for sharing the lyrics and link. I'd forgotten how much I love that song and musical.
"You may be as brave
As you make believe you are" lots of wisdom there.
thanks
I don't remember what I wrote the first time but I do remember the gist of it. I am an only child and was very shy through high school. In college I learned that if I acted as if I knew what I was doing people thought I did. This attitude carried me through job interviews, speaking in front of groups, teaching a class of wiggly students, and having parent teacher conferences. I am no longer shy although I still get nervous when facing new situations.
ReplyDeleteAs a cancer survivor myself I understand about your "stone". My image wasn't a stone. I had a little gremlin that, every time I was feeling great, would remind me that I had had cancer. When I had a random ache or felt a little blue, the gremlin would remind me that the cancer could return. It was at least five years before I was able to get rid of that gremlin. Today, at sixteen years cancer-free, I only think of my fight when comforting or encouraging friends who are still battling cancer.
So, in the words of The Little Engine That Could, "I think I can, I think I can, I know I can!" And suddenly you can and do!
thanks Mary Jane. I know you can, too :)
ReplyDeleteI read a short essay another woman author and cancer survivor posted a few months back about her cancer gremlin and that image really resonated with me. If I can find the link, I'll send it to you.
thanks for the extra effort to post your comment